It’s a Mystery

Have you ever noticed your unconscious makes mash ups of what you’ve seen and heard over the past few days? Nevertheless, if you look at the images carefully you can usually discover something about yourself you weren’t aware of.

The Dream: I live in a boarding house. Poirot and I share a room. I begin to realize that he has murdered several previous tenants, among them Rock Hudson. I obliquely try to discuss this with our landlady, who resembles Sherlock Holmes’s Mrs. Hudson. Poirot overhears us, and I say to him, “You’re going to try to kill me, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” he replies. I think this will be quite a contest, me against the great Poirot.

I stand in line at a college. The advisors are sitting at folding tables outside. One of them is Dr. ______ from Emory, an English professor who impressed me. When my turn comes I tell Dr. ______ about Poirot’s intention to kill me. I‘m not sure she is the proper advisor for this particular problem, but if not I hope she can direct me toward the right person.

Interpretation: A strongly masculine part of me, represented by Rock Hudson, has been “killed” by another powerful force of the psyche represented by Poirot. The starting line up: Rock Hudson—so masculine he doesn’t even have sex with women; Poirot—cunning, devious, intellectual, repressed, very effective, prissy.
At the beginning of the dream this realization is so frightening that I cannot face it squarely, but must allude to obliquely. Even this disguised reference doesn’t save me from the all-seeing Poirot, who admits he will kill me for uncovering his earlier murder.

As the dream progresses I get stronger: I don’t react to Poirot’s threat with the terror that previous dream annihilations engendered, but rather pluckily refer to the upcoming “contest.”

I look for help from some established members of the psychic team, most especially an admired but nameless English professor. The teacher and her subject (English) are hints that my writing in this journal is a helpful tool of re-integration of previously “killed” aspects of the psyche.

I am impatient with this process (waiting in line), and not completely sure I have the proper “advisor.” However, I do have more confidence than previously; that’s obvious from my having not retreated in terror from my threatening “killer.” And I am hoping my advisor, if not the person to solve the problem, can at least point me in the right direction.

My Mother’s Bureau

After a loved one dies the psyche works to create the right space for that person within us. In this dream I struggle with the difficulty of taking on the role my mother played in my life after her death.

The Dream: I am using my mother’s bureau, and I notice that one drawer is crammed with her things. I realize I haven’t left her enough room; she must squeeze most of her things into this one drawer. I feel I’ve been unkind.

Interpretation: The key to understanding this dream is making the connection between the words bureau (where one stores clothes) and office (where one works). The two are synonyms. I have taken over my mother’s office (work) and given her less space. This new role is still uncomfortable.

Dueling Pools

While our dreams often reflect the current events in our lives, they can show us that our reactions to these events are linked by a long chain to events and opinions we picked up long ago. Sometimes these dreams are little gifts, because they enable us to realize we don’t have to hang on to ineffective ways of thinking and feeling.

The Dream: My cousin Judy and I embrace. She feels small and delicate, and I feel tenderness toward her. We have a desire for closeness, for an end to the suspicion and rivalry that we inherited from our parents. I invite her to visit. I think she doesn’t know what a beautiful, resort-like place we have here in California, so I say, “You can swim in the pool.” Then I see the plans she and her husband have made for their back garden. The plantings are marked on the plan, as is a rectangular, heated swimming pool. I feel one-upped, but I say to myself, as if just realizing it, “My pool is heated, too.”

Interpretation: Here I am dealing with feelings of inadequacy left over from childhood. The dream tells me that the reason for my uncomfortable competitive streak is still living in the unconscious (the pool). According to Jung, a square represents wholeness and balance. The rectangular shape of the pool in the dream indicates I’m not seeing the whole picture: one dimension is askew. In the dream I begin to see my cousin as a human being, rather than a competitor; despite her apparent superiority, she needs care and careful handling. By bringing my unacknowledged envy to consciousness I can realize that what I have is just fine. (“My pool is heated, too.”)

Get It Together

Look at the words in your dream carefully. You will often discover meaning hiding behind word-play or a pun. For example, in the following dream, the word “apartment” contains the word “apart.”

The Dream: We live in an apartment building. One of us has a job elsewhere and must leave. I notice the things we have improved in the place, especially a large picture window looking out over the city. We have replaced all the old windows in the apartment with new ones. I feel ambivalent about leaving and point out the improvements we’ve made. “I thought we would stay here forever,” I say.

Interpretation: The components of the psyche are still apart; one part is ready to move on. I want to stay in a place of self-congratulation and so point out the progress made in improving where we are at the moment. However, I’m beginning to get the picture.

The Price is Too High

You might think an old conflict has been put behind you; sometimes a dream reveals it hasn’t.

The Dream: I have just met a woman who went to Brown. I am impressed with the school’s prestige and reputation. The woman is now a man. I am trying to remember where I went to school, hoping it was also an impressive place. I would like to impress the fellow, who is slightly hefty or rotund  even though he looks nerdy, puffed up with his own importance.

Interpretation: The problem in a nutshell: as a woman it is difficult to get on in the world; yet the male role, which enables success, is woefully unattractive.

Menarche

When people from your past visit you in a dream, think about what was going on in your life when you knew them.

The Dream: Mrs. Kirby and a friend have been staying at our house in our absence. When I return I’m surprised to find they’ve left a mess. Their beds are not made. Their rooms have been left with untidy bed clothes and I assume this must be because they know I’m going to wash the sheets. Yet I’m annoyed at their sloppiness. I look around the rooms, and there is clutter everywhere. Soon I realize it’s our clutter and not really their fault. Later I see a reddish brown stain on the rug that has been hidden by putting something over it. “How childish,” I think.

Interpretation: Mrs. Kirby was a friend of my mother’s when I was about twelve. I see this as a positive dream, moving from projecting the “mess” of womanhood and life onto others to the realization the “clutter” belongs to me, and that to attempt to cover it up is childish.

The Squirrel and the Cat

Things that were difficult to accept when you were a child may leave a psychic residue that your adult dreams attempt to clear. This dream and the next revisit childhood rites of passage.

The Dream: I’m on a walk with a child. We are talking about a builder. We are in a rural eastern area that is about to be built into a suburban development. In the middle of our conversation I’m distracted by a squirrel in a tree. I point it out to my child. We think it’s cute. Suddenly I see a cat stalking the squirrel and I am concerned for its safety but don’t take any action: I simply worry. The cat’s paw is very close to the squirrel’s tail. We leave, and when we come back later I see the squirrel dead, lying on the ground. I hope it didn’t suffer, knowing how cats tease their victims. I point out the dead squirrel to my child. Even as I do I think I should keep my mouth shut and not distress her. I realize I speak to share my own distress.

Interpretation: The dream shows a movement from the simple to the complex: from child-like innocence (rural) to less attractive but more complex and structured adulthood (suburbs). The mind is getting ready for being expunged from the  Garden of Eden: the awareness of death.