Do You Say “No” to Yourself?

The Dream: I am telling Clark about Bill Cunningham, the New York Times fashion photographer who has been photographing the Paris fashion shows since 1957. This inspires me to create some fashion designs, and I say to my mother, “I'm going to put a group of 12 designs together and send them to someone.” I have the idea that this might get me some clients. Mother says, “Oh, no one would take them.” I respond, “We can't say 'no' to ourselves before someone else does. Don't you see how that limits us?”

Interpretation: This transparent dream reflects my shaky self-esteem, but also shows that I'm fighting back against it. It was probably triggered by an invitation to submit some work to a competition. I've sent them submissions for several years and have never been accepted. (In the end I did submit something, and my piece was included in their publication.)

Putting My Skills to Work (Or Not)

The Dream: I have attained a level of artistic competence, and it occurs to me that I should use it to get a job I would enjoy. I think I would like to be a fashion illustrator, and I become excited about following through on this idea. I am in New York. My first thought is to show my portfolio around, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Who should I show it to? Will anyone look at it if I don’t present some credentials or have a degree? Or connections?

I decide to go back to school at FIT for an illustration degree. Then I wonder who’s hiring fashion illustrators. I realize I haven’t seen many lately. I become discouraged; even if I have the degree it is unlikely there will be jobs available.

Interpretation: While I'm confident in my art skills some part of me thinks I must have validation from the outside world: I need credentials. Then I realize that having them won't solve my dilemma:  It’s difficult to find a practical application for art skills. Yet I think I must.