The Rape

The Dream: A woman is friends with a man. We are living in a shared space. I leave them to go into another room. Soon I hear the woman screaming for me, horribly distressed. I find her in the bathroom. The toilet seat is up and she has immersed her bottom in the water, which is tinged with blood. It's clear to me that she has been raped by her “loving” friend. Shall I call 911?” I say. She doesn't answer. “I'll call 911,” I say, leaving her to look for a phone. This nightmare awakens me.

Interpretation: At the time of this dream I belonged to a book club sponsored by a Christian church. The meeting devolved into a discussion of the participants' personal beliefs. As I listened to others talk about “faith” and “belief” and “Christianity” I realized how alien I find these ideas. While the dream was triggered by media stories about rape, and certainly reflects the vulnerability that women face, the underlying issue for me is the rape of the intellect that I feel as a participant in a Christian group. I feel I'm not allowed to express my honest thoughts. This leaves me feeling my intellect (logical mind) has been raped; who I am (my self) denied.

The Scream

The Dream: I am lying on a bed. I put my head into a long tube and scream. My father comes into the room and asks me if I scream often. “No, I say, “this is the only time I ever screamed.”

“Heart attack,” he says.

“Well,” I say, “you’d better take me to the hospital.”

All dither around. No one seems to grasp the urgency of the situation. Someone asks if I feel any pain, and I say, “Only some tightness in my chest.”

Interpretation: I’ve got my head up my ass (in a long tube). There’s something emotionally painful (attack in the region of the heart) that I’m refusing to see. I need some help (the hospital) in order to get this off my chest.

Mouse Lady

Some dreams reveal their meaning best when looked at in a series. A transformation takes place over the next three dreams, but I didn’t realize it until I looked at them as a group. I'll post the rest of the series later in the week.

The Dream: There is food on the counter, and I see a mouse. As I watch it its tail lengthens. As I scream about the mouse, I notice it has turned into the head of a very unattractive woman with a long dark brown pony tail. It’s socially awkward that I took her for a mouse.

Interpretation: The good things in life (food) are contaminated by something I find revolting (a mouse). It makes me scream. But wait! It isn’t a mouse, it’s a woman—and not recognizing her for what she is has created a problem. (It’s awkward.) The dream tells me that as the mousy part of me transforms into something braver and stronger I have to guard against seeing these newly emergent qualities as unattractive.