Guest Dreamer: A Visit to the Old House

The Dream: I had a dream last night and this is the second time I have had it! I went back to the house where I had lived during my marriage; my ex was still living there. He had completely redone the upstairs, Ultra modern expensive new bathrooms. The whole upstairs had been reconfigured along with a dressing room and walk in  California closet system, very contemporary and very hip. The whole time I am thinking/saying why couldn't he have been willing to make these kinds of improvements earlier?

More info: The dreamer told me that the dream was triggered by the house going on the market. She also said that when she viewed the listing she was “appalled at the pictures and the lack of staging." And she added, "I am thinking of getting braces which probably fed into this!”

Carla's thoughts: The dreamer's observation that a change she is mulling over--getting braces--might have played a part in the dream is insightful, since the dream is about making changes that are improvements. If this were my dream, I would see it as my increasing awareness of the possibilities in the new life ahead after the end of my marriage. The activity of the dream takes place in what once was my house (myself), but now is changed. The changes are upstairs (in my head). The part of the house that has been changed is relevant to the dream's meaning. A bathroom is a very private place, so it connotes intimacy. The water that is found there symbolizes emotion, and the toilet its release. A dressing room is where we clothe ourselves in our persona, the part of us that we show the world. If my husband could have been more giving and “with it,” as he is in the role of designer and expediter of the very hip upstairs renovations in my dream, maybe things would have turned out differently for us. In the dream I regret that he couldn't supply these things—intimacy, emotional support, support for my persona—while we were married.

Having faced my regret that the relationship didn't work out, I can begin to enjoy the freedom its loss has given me. Now I can take charge of my life and change the things I feel should be changed. As the creator of the dream, I am actually the one who changed the upstairs and created this very appealing new space. The dream tells me that I can do it, and that the changes are contemporary improvements, in other words, they are happening right now.