When Things Don't Go Together

What does it mean if your dream has put some things together that surprise you, that, for example, strike you as incompatible? Dreams often do this, so their incongruities can be a good place to look for the key to the dream's meaning.

As an example, let's take a look at this dream that a fashion designer friend sent to me. She dreamed she was working on a heavy wool sweater with a frilly lace collar. She could have looked at this as inspiration, but her reaction was: “I would never do that!” Therefore, the garment her unconscious has created is showing her an internal conflict. But what is the conflict? How might she go about figuring it out?

She started by thinking about the different aspects of her dream creation. First, there is the sweater part. What color is it? It's red: for her that indicates anger or passion. How does she feel about the look of the sweater? She thought it was heavy and stolid.

Then on to the lace collar. What stands out about that? The collar struck her as incompatible with the sweater.

Finally, does she like this thing? Does her opinion of it change during the course of the dream?

Once she has asked herself these questions she could synopsize the results. “The sweater is red; I am angry. My anger has to do with something traditional, just like the body of the sweater. The frilly lace tells me it's rooted in femininity. I thought the whole idea of putting these two elements together was stupid at first, but after a while I concluded they worked together better than I thought they would.

"I was passed over for a promotion at work. A man got the job. Traditionally, men are promoted more than women. I was angry about that and didn't think I'd be able to work with the new designer. But the dream is telling me that this might work out better than I thought.”

A Repetitive Pattern

The Dream: I am working on a sweater, a complicated design with a scalloped border. One of the scallops doesn't match the others. This anomalous scallop really bothers me; it's ruining the perfection of the garment. I look for an artist I know to tell me what to do about it.

Interpretation: What is my bothersome repetitive pattern than isn't working out?

The Knitting Project

Most often dreams deal with our day to day challenges.
The Dream: I'm in a Victorian-style knitting shop. Some lovely things are on display, but they are difficult to locate. It's a specialty store, with many customers and its merchandise arranged in a way I can't fathom. I hadn't planned on knitting—wasn't interested in a new project—but after seeing one of the items I decide to make it. It is a sleeveless sweater with an intricate knitted pattern on the front. I start to look for the materials I'll need, finding them after a long search. The proprietor is hopping around between clients, not providing much help.

I make a selection. As I'm leaving with my purchase I have a moment of agitation thinking the directions were not included, but my daughter assures me that they were.

Interpretation: I had this dream when I started to help my daughter plan her wedding. The Victorian style of the shop echoes the Victorian aspect of the wedding ritual that knits two people together in a beautiful way, but the planning process can be fraught--I'll be sweat(er)ing indeed as I deal with the intricacies.  Will we be able to find what we want: the right venue, the right caterer, the right dress? I am not sure I have what I'll need to pull this off, but my daughter tells me all will be okay.

No Release

The Dream: I am dressing for an event, feeling rushed. There are several women with me, and one is an artist friend. I put on a pair of black silk trousers, wide-legged. I'm wearing a white blouse. I add a black sweater/jacket, not quite as out-dated as the trousers. My friend tells me this looks fine, and while I know it's lacking in style and out-dated I decide there's no time to come up with anything better.

I have to go to the bathroom. I'm in a public toilet stall and try to pee, but find I can't. I give up, feeling uncomfortable.

Interpretation: I'm dressed in the traditional mourning colors, black and white. I look for a release (going to the toilet) that doesn't come. The clothes are out-dated; this tells me that the grief I'm experiencing is not only current, but from the past as well. My inner artist (the friend) thinks these clothes are appropriate; perhaps she is more in touch with the old pain that needs expression.

I'm in a toilet stall; indeed,being unable to find the needed release has stalled me. I will feel uncomfortable until I can let it out.

Exposed: Part 1

The Dream: I am wandering the streets of Brooklyn, wearing no trousers. I often adjust my sweater, pulling it down. It almost covers me. No one seems to notice, but I feel very self conscious.

Interpretation: I explore the place of my mother’s birth; I experience the self-consciousness and discomfort she endured as the child of a poor, widowed, non-English speaking immigrant from Eastern Europe. I adjust the clothes I am wearing, pulling down my sweater to cover my shame. The dream tells me that no one seems to notice I’m half naked: what is so embarrassing to me is actually unimportant to others.