Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The End of Carla?



The Dream: A young woman has decided to kill herself. She is with friends; I am among them. There’s something theatrical about this endeavor. What should I do? Ignore it? Try to stop her? I do nothing until she takes some pills, then I call 911. I have difficulty getting through. First I can’t quite see which buttons to push. My mini-computer becomes my giant cell phone, and even in the dream I find this odd. At last I manage to get through. The person answering the phone is very relaxed. We have a short conversation; I explain the situation, but the connection is not good. I say I’ll call back, wondering as I hang up if I’ll get the same guy. Or will I have to explain the situation all over again?

I await the arrival of the medics; they are slow coming. No one seems concerned about this potential suicide. As time elapses, the girl comes around. I find out that her suicide “cocktail” consisted of a calcium pill and a baby aspirin. I realize all this suicide drama has been overblown, and I’m embarrassed over calling 911. I wonder how the medics will react once they arrive at this nonexistent crisis.

Interpretation: Oh dear, someone isn’t getting enough attention. Could it be me? In a slightly more serious vein, some part of me is crying out for help and having difficulty getting through to others. I don’t seem to have the right equipment: I’m using a computer as a cell phone. When I finally do talk to someone the connection is not good. Is the dream a reaction to doing this blog? After all, it’s communication through the computer, and I have little way of knowing how it’s received. In the dream no one is concerned about this potential “suicide.”  If Carla dies (stops writing this blog) would anyone care? Oh, woe is me!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, I would care if Carla stopped posting this blog!

One projection on the dream: It may be a good idea to check into a need for calcium and/or taking a baby aspirin. For the former, with osteoporosis, additional calcium needs to be ingested. For the second, it's recommended that for some, a baby aspirin be taken for heart health.

Emily

Carla Young said...

Thanks, Emily--guess I'll have to keep going--and take calcium and a baby aspirin.

Elizabeth Hack said...

Powerful, dream! Perhaps it's a metaphor for change. The ending of Carla might represent transformation.

Anonymous said...

If it were my dream, I may need to be kinder to my young girl self. (baby aspirin). And perhaps there is an area of interest that I haven't taken the time to "bone up" on. (calcium). Those comments might have made you laugh but they are are what came to my mind. As for questioning whether or not you should continue with the blog, I for one would miss it very much. You teach me how to interpret my own dreams. Surely there are many others who feel the same and I hope you will hear from many of them.

Anonymous said...

In my dream, instead of seeing the dream through my eyes (the dreamer), I let the young woman/girl do all the viewing.

I am the part of Octavia’s ageless, infinite youthfulness/vibrancy [young woman/girl]. People [friends] enjoy my company (youthfulness/vibrancy), so does Octavia. I find her befriending me not firm enough, which I find much too incidental. So I decide to stage a premature, theatrical exit and see if I can get through to her. I need her to acknowledge me as the integral ageless part of her. Octavia is confused and doubtful if this exit action is for real, whether she should prevent me from doing it, or call for help. It does her honor that she does nothing until I take the pills. On the one hand, I am pleased that she doubts my demise, on the other hand, I feel disparaged because these doubts also show unsteadiness of faith in my infinite presence. Although her initial communication appliance to the outside world for help transforms into an impressive, disproportionately large communication device, implying an optimal reception and audibility, the quality of the connection is obviously poor. The rescuers don’t show up, and don’t seem to care either. How could they, since for them I’m nonexistent and invisible? Evidently, my ‘resurrection’ takes place without any outside help. I can’t blame her feeling embarrassed if the potential rescuers would find out they have been called ‘for-Octavia’s-eyes-only-request-for-attention’ scenario, since no outside help was needed in the first place. Just the acknowledgement of the landlady. The good part is that deep inside she was right all along doubting my finiteness, thus having had (some) faith in my infinite presence.

Regards, Octavia

Carla Young said...

Octavia, you suggest an interesting way to look at the dream: that is, to look at it in terms of the relationship between the dream ego and the girl who is pretending to kill herself. Thanks for that!

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