It Bites the Hand that Feeds It

The Dream: I have a collegial relationship with a cat. We get along. I need to correct her behavior, so I attempt to pick her up by the scruff of her neck. She camps her sharp teeth down on my hand and won't let go. I have a cat dangling from my hand and don't know how to get it to release me.

Interpretation: Symbolically cats are associated with the feminine. People project sweetness, cuddliness, and so forth, onto these animals, but at their base, where they really live, they are hunters and fighters. In today's world the genie is out of the bottle. Docility is over. Obedience is done with. The feminine animal now fights back. The cat is telling me to give my inner woman some freedom or she'll clamp down on me, and it will hurt.

Something's Got A Hold of Me

The Dream: I was startled awake by this nightmare. Clark and I are in bed, asleep. Our dog, Toffee, comes bounding in and jumps on the bed between us. He clamps his teeth onto my finger and won't let go. I scream again and again for Clark's help; he doesn't respond. Finally, screaming over and over, “Clark, you aren't paying attention to me!” I awaken, feeling very shaken.

Interpretation: On the surface this dream seems to be saying that I feel neglected by my husband, and that could certainly be one of its meanings. But the level of terror I experienced in the dream hints at another meaning. I've been grabbed by the instinctive (my animal, the dog) and it won't relent. The rational (Clark, my animus) ignores the problem.

The dog in the dream, Toffee, died some years ago, and the terror the dream conjures seems consistent with a primal fear such as that of dying. What might have triggered this nightmare? Last night I was reading George Eliot's “Daniel Deronda.” In the book the character Gwendolyn responds with terror to a painting of a dead face and someone fleeing.

Is It Okay to Spit in Public?

The Dream: The dream begins with a group of people in an old-fashioned apartment building. We exit as a group. As we walk down a hallway I decide to stop by the ladies' room. The door is open, and I wonder if it's actually the ladies—as opposed to the gents. It is, and I go in. Later I'm again looking for the ladies room and realize I'm in the men's section of the building. I see a comfortable-looking men's lounge with stuffed chairs, very clubby looking. The nearby restroom is the men's. I leave the area, feeling socially uncomfortable about my trespass.

Once outside I see a gravel path leading away from the main sidewalk and going into a treed area. I see EH on the path, brushing her teeth. I am also brushing my teeth. I wonder if I should go back to the ladies' room in order to have a place to spit.

Interpretation: This dream seems to be about the unconscious attempting to come to terms with gender. As it begins I'm in a communal setting—with a group of people in an apartment. The apartment is old-fashioned, indicating that the dream is looking back to the time in my youth when gender roles were strictly defined. As I find myself confused about which room is for women and which for men—more than once—I struggle to define where I should be. What  sort of behavior is right for me?

I leave this social confusion for the rough (gravel) road of figuring it out for myself. I see an acquaintance along this path, brushing her teeth. According to Tony Crisp, one of the many things teeth can represent in a dream are words—things we've said, things we wish we hadn't said. As I brush my teeth I might be trying to polish or perfect some of these, but I'm left with a dilemma: I find I need to spit. Crisp sees spit as a carrier of strong feelings, such as love or hate. At this point I'm too entrenched in what's considered ladylike to express these feelings, so I have to revisit the “ladies' room” before I can spit it out.

A Crown of Thornes

The Dream: Clark is getting his teeth worked on. The dentist is very casual, but reasonably priced. He seems old-fashioned. Clark has a tooth crowned, and the procedure doesn't look too bad. He needs to have another capped and is waffling. I ask the dentist if the procedure will be similar to the one he just finished, hoping he'll say yes so that Clark will be reassured and get on with it. But the dentist indicates it will be worse. The second tooth is not fixed.

Interpretation: In any long standing marriage there will be on-going differences in the way we approach problems. This dream is telling me that while I think I know what's best for my husband—and while what I'm pushing for might be the inevitable right choice (getting the tooth crowned)--what I'm not understanding is how much pain, for him, is involved in doing this thing.