It's Hard to Change

The Dream: I'm to meet a group of women at  restaurant in a converted house. When I arrive I go into the restroom to change my clothes. In the process I misplace a sock, one of the thick wool socks I wear at night to keep my feet warm. I look everywhere, unable to find it. I am on my hands and knees going through what I think is a Lost and Found Box under the sink; it seems to have odd pieces: one glove, one sock, etc. A member of the establishment comes in and discovers me. I feel uncomfortable attempting to explain what I'm doing,and she says it's not Lost and Found, but a gift for the Father.

I give up on finding my sock. I haven't been able to change my clothes, and I think I might have more success if I go somewhere else. I leave the bathroom and find a small bedroom down the hall, go in, shut the door, and try to change. In short order someone appears, a young woman with dark short curly hair, slightly over-weight, round faced. It's her room. She's brought some friends, and I am clearly an intruder. I explain about needing to meet people at the restaurant and apologize for trespassing. I notice the time. It's 1:30 and I was supposed to meet my friends at 11:00. I realize with surprise how late it's gotten and rush off, hoping my friends will still be there.

Interpretation: This dream is about change, and the difficulty I'm having making one. The converted house points to a changed (converted) self, but I have cold feet: I can't find the thing (the warm sock) that will protect me. What am I having so much trouble changing? What have I lost that I can't find, and what does it have to do with Father-- my father? Our Father Who Art in Heaven? Is what we lose, over the course of our lives, a gift for the Father? Or could it be something I've lost and need to find again? Whatever it is, it's gotten under my skin (anagram for sink). I'm out of place; I can't find the right venue for my transformation, and it's later than I think.

Is It Okay to Spit in Public?

The Dream: The dream begins with a group of people in an old-fashioned apartment building. We exit as a group. As we walk down a hallway I decide to stop by the ladies' room. The door is open, and I wonder if it's actually the ladies—as opposed to the gents. It is, and I go in. Later I'm again looking for the ladies room and realize I'm in the men's section of the building. I see a comfortable-looking men's lounge with stuffed chairs, very clubby looking. The nearby restroom is the men's. I leave the area, feeling socially uncomfortable about my trespass.

Once outside I see a gravel path leading away from the main sidewalk and going into a treed area. I see EH on the path, brushing her teeth. I am also brushing my teeth. I wonder if I should go back to the ladies' room in order to have a place to spit.

Interpretation: This dream seems to be about the unconscious attempting to come to terms with gender. As it begins I'm in a communal setting—with a group of people in an apartment. The apartment is old-fashioned, indicating that the dream is looking back to the time in my youth when gender roles were strictly defined. As I find myself confused about which room is for women and which for men—more than once—I struggle to define where I should be. What  sort of behavior is right for me?

I leave this social confusion for the rough (gravel) road of figuring it out for myself. I see an acquaintance along this path, brushing her teeth. According to Tony Crisp, one of the many things teeth can represent in a dream are words—things we've said, things we wish we hadn't said. As I brush my teeth I might be trying to polish or perfect some of these, but I'm left with a dilemma: I find I need to spit. Crisp sees spit as a carrier of strong feelings, such as love or hate. At this point I'm too entrenched in what's considered ladylike to express these feelings, so I have to revisit the “ladies' room” before I can spit it out.