It’s Not Me, It’s Him

Sometimes I think my unconscious is laughing at me.

The Dream: A woman learns that her estranged husband fell out of love with her because she had a facial tick when she was stressed: her tongue would roll out and touch below her bottom lip. I am surprised that this is so devastating to his love, because it is something she rarely does. I mention that she does tend to wipe her nose a lot, however. Apparently this doesn’t bother the husband. I think he’s a shallow perfectionist.

Interpretation: Even as I criticize the overbearing, idiotic, perfectionist part of myself I indulge in the behavior. I may think the husband (my other half) is shallow, yet can’t resist adding my own criticism (she tends to wipe her nose a lot). I guess it’s time for me to get over it!

A Conflict with My Other Half

The Dream: Clark and I have a disagreement stemming from the fact that one of us is precise and perfectionist; the other more spontaneous, sloppy, and expressive.

Interpretation: My husband Clark often symbolizes “my other half.” In this dream I see one of my core inner conflicts: the part of me that most values precision, skill and control battles the part that needs freedom and emotion.

Redefining the Mission

What’s really important? Your dreams will let you know.

The Dream: A male friend and I are doing an art project. He is about my height and we work well together. I have reworked our mission statement. One had been given to us when we started, but I feel my understanding of the project has surpassed what we were told, and I am very pleased with our newly defined “mission.”

My friend can’t type, but wants to show me how to shade a figure. I want to learn this, since I feel that my shading has been somewhat botchy. But I am so excited about the mission statement that I also want to run off and write it down. Again he wants to show me shading. I say, “I suck at shading.” He demonstrates a simple way to do it, using the side rather than the tip of a sharpened pastel stick. I feel a great sense of relief at casually admitting an area I’m not good at, thinking, “I don’t have to be perfect anymore. I can be accepted as I am. I can accept myself as I am.”

Interpretation: The two sides of the brain--one verbal, the other visual--seem to be having a dialogue here. When I can accept their teamwork I have a revelation.

Put on the Stockings

Sometimes the things we dislike about ourselves need to be recognized as gifts, of a sort, as this dream tells me.

The Dream: We are trying to escape the Nazis, but using an odd strategy. We’re running away from them by going back to the place we used to live even as I think, “Won’t they be able to find us here?”

One woman accepts a pair of silk stockings from a Nazi soldier with the idea of reselling them to get money for something useful, like food. At first I think her acceptance of a gift from the Nazi is morally dubious, but later feel that in transforming the gift into something useful she’s done something sensible.

Interpretation: I learn that something good can come if I can accept a gift from my inner Nazi.  My tiresome attention to detail and tendency to perfectionism are not all bad, but can and do enable (feed) my creative side.