Taking the Wrong Vehicle to Escape

The Unconscious experiences the vulnerability of women in this dream.
The Dream: Three couples are sharing a vacation rental. One of the husbands is charming and well-regarded, a very popular guy who is the mayor of his town. His attractive Asian / Indian wife bustles about attending the needs of the family. I'm cleaning up in the kitchen. It soon becomes apparent to me that the man is a pedophile who molests young boys, and that his wife is complicit in covering this up.

I'm on my way to the shopping center in a white rental car, and the man gets in with me. He's all charm, as usual. We park in a large garage and walk toward the supermarket, crossing a large parking lot. He makes a pass, and when I resist he gets ugly. He shows me a small closet near the market with its own door and tells me he intends to rent it and use it to seduce young boys. He grabs me—he's very strong—and I know he's planning to rape me. I tell him, in all sincerity, that my husband will kill him, but he couldn't care less about my threats. I holler for people to call the police. One woman says,“What are you making such a fuss about?—just go along with it!”

My shouting distracts him, and I manage to escape. When I run back to the garage I have a new problem: I am unable to find the car.  I don't even remember what it looks like. I am very frightened that the man will find me. It occurs to me that if I press one of the buttons on the key chain it will cause the car to beep. Sure enough, it works; I find a car, a long black station wagon. The seat seems to be in the right position, so even though I'm not sure this is the right car I take off. I become more and more concerned that it isn't my car: I notice the rear view mirror is not correctly aligned.

As I drive on one of the ramps I notice, barely, a woman in a wheel chair in front of my car. Despite my best effort to stop I can't, and I hit her. I jump out of the car, apologizing profusely. Luckily she was not injured.

I wonder if the police will stop me for stealing the car. Would they believe my story?—probably not. When I was in the altercation with the man I realized that most likely no one would believe it, and he would get away with all his crimes.

I go to a place in the garage where there's an office; a superintendent of something or other sits at a desk. A young woman with dark hair, foreign looking with a tear-stained face, has just reported her car stolen. She is the owner of the car I've taken. Realizing this I apologize, again profusely, and feel I can clear this up for her. I'm relieved to be able to do the right thing.

Interpretation: Some horrific current events triggered this dream. In the news was a woman executed by the Taliban—her husband delivering the fatal blow. Her crime? She had been abducted and raped. A football player on my local team had been accused of sexual assault, and NPR featured a program on rape. “How would I deal with such a situation?” my unconscious asked.

In the dream I am acutely aware that I have no physical defense, and my attempted verbal defense is useless as well. I experience the awful feeling of being over-powered. Luckily, I mange to flee.

The dream made me aware of the age-old difficulty that women have had in being believed when they report sexual predation. I realize that it is more than likely that no one would listen to me, sympathize, or even believe me. With that dream experience I think I came close to what victims of sexual assault feel. The man's reputation was such that he would not be questioned or suspected. There have been many accounts in the news lately of trusted figures who got away with atrocities for years: a beloved BBC host, Catholic priests, golf coaches, others like Sandusky, and so on. In the dream the man's position helps him to cover up his crimes; his own wife is an enabler. Society's point of view is reflected in the woman in the parking lost who tells me to get over it.

I do escape, but in doing so I come very close to harming other women. My car, once white, is now black and hearse like. I drive into one woman in a wheelchair and steal another's car. The metaphor is that although in waking life I've managed to “escape” these horrors, by turning a blind eye I hurt other, vulnerable women. I apologize for this in the dream, and hope to make things right. In reality, I wonder, what can do?

Betrayal

The Dream: My husband Clark is sitting on a cushy chair with a woman on his lap. They are clearly lovers. Clark doesn't mind that I see this, and indeed feels I should accept the situation. I think I would like to try to see, objectively, what this woman is like; so I observe. She seems young and light hearted. At one point a little boy, about 4, appears. He has blond curly hair and looks angelic. He is asleep, inert, lying on the floor to the left of the seated couple. She goes over to him and attends to him in a sweet, maternal way. I like this woman, but I don't like the situation.

I begin to inwardly steam over what I see as Clark's betrayal. When did he have time time to get involved with another woman?! We're almost always together. I think that I'll tell him he has to choose; he can't have us both as he seems to believe. But then I realize that even if he relinquishes this particular woman my trust in him has been destroyed, and things will never be the same again. I awaken, upset as from a nightmare, and very relieved it was a dream.

Interpretation: This dream was triggered by the news that a friend's husband is involved with someone else. The dream touches on my own residual oedipal conflict, the clue being that the other woman is a sweet maternal person whom I like, but it deals with something else as well. I had been reading about Jung's personal life and was disappointed to discover that he apparently felt that the women in his life should tolerate the same arrangement the dream portrays. This expectation strikes me as self-serving, cruel, insensitive and exploitative; it makes me angry on behalf of both Mrs. Jung and Toni Wolff. At a personal level I have to reconcile the fact that someone whose intellect and insight I so thoroughly admire, a person to whom my conception of the mind is “married,” can behave in a way I find thoroughly callous.

Somehow these people worked it out: perhaps the women felt that the man's greatness created an entitlement. Living in an era that offered no autonomy to women, they were victims of their historical moment and needed Jung in order to fulfill their own potential: reflected greatness (the golden haired boy) might have struck them as better than no greatness at all.

Bald as an Egg

The Dream: I'm attracted to a small, unappealing, no longer young little man. His head is egg-shaped, and he's as bald as an egg. We are close to having sex when I remember that I'm a married woman.

“I've never cheated on my husband,” I say. But at the moment I say it, I'm planning to. Suddenly the mood changes; it's as if this practical consideration has awakened others, and I no longer want to go through with it. He also seems to have lost interest. In fact, he might have lost interest before I did.

Interpretation: In my youth an egg-head was anyone who appeared intelligent. In the dream I'm attracted to the intellect passionately, but it doesn't seem practical, partially due to my age (like the little man, I'm no longer young) and partially due to the fact that intellectual pursuits are innately impractical. In any case, the dream tells me that I see them as inappropriate. By cheating on my husband (animus) I ignore, or attempt to ignore, the practical contingencies of life, but soon discover I'm not really interested in following this path. With this fizzling of passion, the dream points out that I need to ask myself just what it is that I'm "married" to, and whether or not it's time for a new interest.

Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

To figure out what a dream like this means, I have to look at what is going on in my life that is triggering behavior (or a feeling) that I don't accept.
The Dream: My husband, Clark, has found an insect in the garden that we know is destructive. He shows it to me, and I go to get a plastic bag to put it in. I ask if he wants a thin or a heavy plastic: what is necessary to contain the pest, to keep it confined so it won't spread and multiply?

I come back with a small bag. Clark puts in the insect that he's already wrapped in newspaper, and then the bagged creature goes into yet another waste plastic bag and into the landfill trash. I think it's too bad that we have to put all that recyclable plastic into the landfill bin, but it's important that this bug cannot get free and spread.

My neighbor Irene comes over and starts to talk about the bug. She mentions that we have been removing and eating its larvae. This is true, and I am embarrassed that she was aware of it. I hadn't made the connection between the larvae and the bug, and I feel uncomfortable about her knowing so much. But then I remember how snoopy she is, and that not much could happen without her knowledge. I feel weird about our having eaten the larvae. One part of me thinks, “We deep fried them, and they were crispy and tasty.” Another part thinks, “Disgusting.”

Interpretation: This dream deals with a deep ambivalence. Something is bugging me. I think it's destructive, and at the same time it's nourished me. I want it not only contained and destroyed, but hidden, even though one part of me regrets the cost of so much concealment. (The recyclable plastic, a potential resource, could be put to better use elsewhere.) I feel uncomfortable about the rewarding aspects of something that I don't think is socially acceptable. (I'd rather my neighbor didn't know.) I have to look at what is going on in my life that is triggering this unacceptable behavior or emotion; then I need to figure out what about it has some sort of payoff. Once I become aware of the unconscious conflict I might be able to resolve it.

I’m Blind

The Dream: Clark says, “Car, you’re blind.”

Interpretation: There was more to this dream, and I wish I could remember it because it might tell me what it is I’m not seeing. The statement comes from my husband Clark (my other half). He uses half my name. There are two “halves” in this dream: my animus (my other half) and half my name. Yet the two halves are not adding up to a whole, and I’m not getting the complete picture (I’m blind.)

Serial Killer

As much as you might want to distance yourself from bad behavior in your dream, a first step in understanding the dream is to realize that all the people in it are you.
The Dream: My husband Clark is possibly a serial killer. I am looking for a woman friend to lunch with on my birthday.

Interpretation: Looking at the dream actors as combative parts of myself, my husband (my other half) has been killing off people (certain aspects of my psyche). In other words, my strongest part has been acting as an enforcer, subduing weaker parts. That it is my birthday tells me I am undergoing an important transformation: I have a new understanding of my repressed (killed) traits. That I am looking for a woman to lunch (be nourished) with tells me I am interested in developing and protecting my intuitive, feminine part. I might have to save her from the serial killer before that can happen. These insights seem to build on the partial illumination of the last dream I posted.

Guest Dreamer: The Flying Dinosaur

In this guest dream, Firequeen faces grief at the loss of her husband. Death appears as a swift raptor, a cheetah that cheats her of her beloved. The dream triggers a powerful transformation: By facing her pain in the dream, healing can begin.

Firequeen’s Dream: Weird dream last night. I was standing in my house with Wolfram, it was not this house but the room we were in was this one (office). We were standing at the window and we saw a flying dinosaur - about the size of a pelican - the name given me in the dream was velociraptor, but I just looked that up and it doesn't have wings. This had a big head and a very long sharp beak. Wolfram was intrigued with it and began making faces at it and waving his arms to annoy it (he was like that) and it turned and flew towards us. This did not make him give up. It flew straight at the window and its beak pierced the glass, making a hole. It made about three of these holes. Then it saw a small bird sitting on a bush and it speared the poor bird with its beak. Then it sat back on its haunches - it had turned into a cheetah-like creature and was holding the bird in its paws and had a grinning mouth full of teeth. It seemed able to change back and forth between these two creatures at will. I felt it was extremely dangerous and could get in the house through the holes it had made, so I persuaded Wolfram we should leave the room and shut the room door behind us.

Then we went to the door of the house and I saw the house was in a field with open space around. People were coming towards the house and I was supposed to have made food for them, but hadn't. Then Libby came and she was carrying trays of beautiful food and cakes, which she had made for us and the people. There was more but I only remember fragments - Adrian, a friend I haven't seen for a long time, was holding a pane of glass and saying he was going to repair the window.  I felt I had to warn all these people about the velociraptor, but I could not get them to listen. I kept lining them up outside the house and saying they had to listen to me before they went in. But they were too busy talking to each other. If any of them did listen, they dismissed it as imagination.

Firequeen’s afterthought: Some days afterwards, I was thinking about this dream, and how Wolfram is so often with me in dreams, and I felt sure that he is always there, even when I don’t know it, and then I received the message that this is so, and it is because we are now merged. We don’t have to wait until after my death. And maybe this was why he ‘wasn’t there’ on the holiday this year, when he had been so vividly present the year before - because he had been present in me.

Carla’s interpretation: The dreamer has shared some facts from her life that I take into account as I interpret her dream as if it were my own. I am standing in my house (my self) with my husband Wolfram, who in waking life died unexpectedly in 2006. We are in the office, which is the dream’s way of telling me that I have some work to do. The window I look through represents my view of things, and the creature that I see tells me what I need to work on. I see a dinosaur, which has mythic elements for me, reminding me of a fairytale dragon (something to be conquered), but this dinosaur is very particular—it’s a velociraptor, a word that literally means swift seizer.  My husband was swiftly seized by death, and the dream is helping me deal with my feelings around this tragedy. The dinosaur breaks the glass: my husband’s death has been a shattering experience. My soul (the bird) is held in this fearsome event, and I feel cheated (the Cheetah). I have tried not to look at this painful reality. (I persuade Wolfram we should leave the room and shut the door behind us.)

Yet having experienced the pain and fear of my loss in the dream space, I begin to heal. I go to the door (a threshold, the demarcation between one state and another), leaving the painful part of my inner world to enter the open space of a field. My world view is opening up. Because of my suffering I hadn’t been able to nourish my friendships (make food for my friends), but my friend Libby (the part of me that is now ready to interact and give to others) has provided enough for all. The Adrian part of me (a part that has been gone for a while) will repair my shattered heart (the glass pane “pain”).

My dream shows me how I have progressed through my grief, but also warns me not to forget the life lessons I have learned, even though there are parts of me that don’t want to know as well as people in waking life who refuse to accept the difficulty of dealing with death (the people who ignore my warnings about the swift seizer). As I can see from my thoughts a few days later, my spiritual beliefs were activated by the dream and console me with the realization that my love and I have merged: he lives on through me—in real time. Wolfram is not lost to me.

The Beautiful Dark Baby

The Dream: A good friend from my college days has a very young daughter, about 3 years old, with dark skin. I look at her husband to see if he is the source of the girl’s complexion, but he is as fair as his wife. The girl is adorable; her coloring is inexplicable. Was she adopted?

Interpretation: Something that has its roots in my past (college days) has recently (within the past three years) come to fruition. While it isn’t what I expected, and I’m not entirely sure where it came from, it is beautiful. Clearly I must adopt (accept) it.

The Complications of Eradicating Evil

The Dream: Some very evil men can’t be controlled. My husband Clark decides to murder them. Their bodies are placed upright in a public space, as if embedded into a curtain that surrounds a public square. We wait for them to be discovered and to see what sort of public reaction there will be. Clark is convinced he’s done the right thing and has the courage of his certainty. I’m nervous and unsure. Who will back us up? Who will turn us in? Who knows?

Interpretation: This is a dream about something we confront every day as we listen to the news: evil people commit evil deeds; what can I do about it? In the dream my public, active side, represented by my husband (my other half), takes action. My introverted, more reflective, less impulsive side (represented by the dream ego) is not sure the action taken was a good idea. 

A more complicated ethical dilemma arises: we’ve covered up (veiled) our action. By privately making a decision for the group (the public) we risk alienating ourselves from the society we live in. Taking action has left us hanging out, much like our victims.

And then there’s another way to look at the dream: what evil part of myself am I veiling from public view? And isn’t the evil hidden in my breast the most difficult to eradicate? Partially because even I can’t see it: it’s veiled, embedded and enclosed!

An Unusual Horse

This short dream is about the resolution of two opposing inner forces: one favors instinct, the other reason.

The Dream: I see a pony-sized horse with a very long body and a tiny head. It has a beautiful, shiny, black and white coat. Clark is brushing him. I think the animal is so homely that he’s cute.

Interpretation: In the telescoping way of dreams, this one tells us that it is about duality by juxtaposing three different qualities in the image of the horse: size (body, head); color (black, white); and attractiveness (homely, cute). The opposites I’m working to resolve are the instinctual (the horse) with reason (the head). The small size of the head signals a new direction for me, since I tend to over-intellectualize. The black and white of the pony’s coat echoes the Chinese yin yang, in other words, the coming together of opposites. My husband Clark (my other half) lovingly cares for the animal. My admiration for the pony in its imperfection (he’s so homely that he’s cute) symbolizes a new acceptance of my instinctive nature.  

I Sacrifice My Social Security

The Dream: My daughter has been working as a prostitute in order to pay off her school debt. At first my husband Clark and I don’t react to this; we think she’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions. However, I come to realize, and can see in her countenance, that this “work” is a threat to her very soul since it demands that she cut herself off from her true feelings. I want to help her get out of this situation, so I offer her money. I don’t have much, only my social security check, but I decide, after a little internal struggle, that I don’t need it.

Interpretation: In this dream I begin to realize that I’ve been prostituting my inner vision to satisfy outside demands. I’m paying off a debt (what I owe others) for my education--or what might be more accurately called my socialization. In the course of the dream I become willing to sacrifice approval (social security) to free myself from the necessity to do work I don’t love.

It’s Not Me, It’s Him

Sometimes I think my unconscious is laughing at me.

The Dream: A woman learns that her estranged husband fell out of love with her because she had a facial tick when she was stressed: her tongue would roll out and touch below her bottom lip. I am surprised that this is so devastating to his love, because it is something she rarely does. I mention that she does tend to wipe her nose a lot, however. Apparently this doesn’t bother the husband. I think he’s a shallow perfectionist.

Interpretation: Even as I criticize the overbearing, idiotic, perfectionist part of myself I indulge in the behavior. I may think the husband (my other half) is shallow, yet can’t resist adding my own criticism (she tends to wipe her nose a lot). I guess it’s time for me to get over it!

Ménage a Moi

The Dream: A woman is thinking, “It’s Saturday night; I should remind my husband this is the night we have sex.” As she thinks this, another woman goes to the man and says, “Remember it’s Saturday night and that’s when we have sex.” The first woman realizes that her husband has two wives. This doesn’t upset her; she has noticed the man’s annoyance when the other woman nagged him about having sex, and she thinks that because the other woman has said something she no longer needs to. She wonders how the night will play out: A ménage a trois?

Interpretation: Taken out of sequence I would have no idea what this dream means. Seen as the culmination of the last two dreams, however, it makes sense. I split into three in Death of the Attached Baby and into two in Both of Them Are Me. In this  potential ménage a trois my various selves try to come together. (Yes, I noticed the pun.)

Crab Attack

Do dreams always have to do with your own life, or do you sometimes dream just as powerfully of things that affect your friends or family?

The Dream: A crab is moving forward, shooting a dart at a human figure.

Interpretation: I was in the dark about the meaning of this dream until my daughter pointed out that the Crab is the symbol for the Zodiac sign of Cancer. On the day before I had this dream the husband of a dear friend had a biopsy, and a serious cancer had been discovered. My dream was trying to help me absorb this distressing news.

Bodice Ripper Scene 3

We don’t get the answer to any of these questions. Instead, we learn that the Lady works very hard to be modest and proper and that she refers to her husband formally in the 3rd person as “the Viscount” in public, but she is allowed to be more familiar privately. The Lady dresses very simply—plainly, even—in order to emphasize her propriety. She does not adorn herself in any way. Nevertheless, she is so beautiful that the estate workers (farm hands) fight over her. She never looks at them in order not to be seen to encourage such behavior. Meanwhile, it’s not clear whether or not the Viscount is faithful.

Interpretation: Again the Lady’s socially constrained role is emphasized. According to Tony Crisp a fight can symbolize problems with independence or self-confidence. That the Lady never looks at this is probably a strong hint from the dream that I should. A further hiccup to the needed union of the Lady (feminine aspect of my psyche) and the Viscount (masculine aspect): I’m not sure the Viscount can be trusted.

This dream has been interpreted by the well-known dream worker Jane Teresa Anderson in Episode 44 of The Dream Show

Don’t Send in the Cavalry

Look at the words and images in your dreams carefully. Often what seems like nonsense at first glance can be deciphered if you look for puns and plays on words, and think about the possible alternate meanings of the images.
 
The Dream: The dream is set in a barren, hilly setting. I’m sitting with a group of people on a bleacher facing a valley formed by other hills. There’s a deep crevice between the hills. We hear the sound of hooves and see the cavalry approaching. Their uniforms are gray, and they seem antiquarian. They stop at the foot of our bleacher and begin to sing. Their leader faces us and we all sing with him. His name eludes me, and I decide to practice writing it. He is Major Paul Baurow, pronounced Bo-Ro. I practice spelling and pronouncing it. There are two letter combinations in his last name, both pronounced “oh” but spelled differently. When I address him I still can’t remember his last name and call him Major Paul.

There is a man in the group (not a soldier) I am attracted to. He seems to be attracted to me as well. At first my husband encourages me to go to an event with the man, then Clark seems to become suspicious. I say flippantly, “We’re going to have monkey sex.”

Interpretation: The deep crevice tells me I’m dealing with some sort of split, and the dream exposes a conflict between my independence from--and my submission to--societal restraints. The cavalry and Paul Baurow (pall bearer or politburo) represent societal coercion, which “palls” the spirit. They expect me to sing along with the group. The attractive man is the part of me that is not regimented, “not a soldier,” and that wants to be uncivilized and experience the freedom of the animal (monkey sex).  My husband (my other half) is divided, just like the split in the hill. One moment he is encouraging me, the next not.

Rats in the Raspberry Ice Cream

You probably won't want to eat dinner at my house after you read this one:

The Dream: There is some homemade raspberry ice cream in the freezer. Perhaps it is my older daughter's. Some rats have managed to pry the lid off the ice cream, and several are in the container. I am grossed out. My husband takes the container out to the back garden to dispose of the rats. I hope he will kill them rather than let them go, since I'm afraid they'll be back. I tell him not to throw all the ice cream away, just to scrape the bad part off the top.

Interpretation: (This dream is a continuation of the last dream I blogged.) I've created a special environment that I've given to my children (the raspberry ice cream), but it cannot remain unchangeable (frozen). Nature (the rats) will penetrate any barriers. I'd like to have them disposed of permanently, but I'm not sure that's possible. In asking my husband to preserve what he can of the ice cream I'm hoping everything I've built as a parent and homemaker will not be "thrown out."