Head in a Lantern

The Dream: A friend has put her mother’s or aunt’s head in a lantern. She has also put my mother’s head in one. I am worried that my mother will starve. She will get no food in this odd cage. A part of me wants her to die so I’ll be “finished” with her; yet another part is concerned and guilt-ridden. After a while I think that she won’t starve to death; she’ll die of insulin shock before that happens. In fact, she might be dead already. I am very worried about her suffering, so her death would be a relief.

Interpretation: My mother died about five years before I had this dream, which sums up all the confused and tortured feelings that centered on my relationship with her. As a child I idolized her. When I was 17 she became diabetic, and I was in terror of her dying. Over the years, every time I saw her I thought might be the last. I saw her suffer through innumerable insulin shocks as well as cancer and heart disease. As anyone with an ill family member knows, all share the pain. In a very real way her death (at 85 in spite of everything!) was a release. Years later, as this dream shows, the unconscious is trying to come to terms with these feelings.

Besides my relief at an impossible situation being resolved, the dream gives me a glimpse of a kind of immortality. Important people in our lives don't die, but live on in us.  Mother's cage resembles a birdcage, and birds signify the spirit. That Mother’s cage is a lantern tells me her spirit still lights my way.

Taking the Plunge

The Dream: I am on a high diving board, hanging by my hands. Someone is instructing me in the correct way to do the dive, which of course requires that I reposition myself. I think I could simply let go and drop—that might be easiest. I am afraid of taking the plunge, but feel less fearful once the “drop” idea occurs to me.

Interpretation: This is not the time to fret over the correct way of doing something. This is the time to let go, take the plunge, and do it my way.

Pods

The Dream: Black pods—like pea pods only shorter and shiny—are open and attached, in a decorative pattern, to the skin of a woman. It is something akin to a tattoo. In each pod is a small figure of something—perhaps a person or an animal. She is going to change out the figures, but keep the attached pods. I am repelled by this.

Interpretation: I’ve got something under my skin. The reference to the tattoo suggests I’ve been marked by a painful (black) experience. I am willing to change out the players in my pods, but since I keep their receptacles I have to think it’s likely they will be back.

Things are Not What They Seem

The Dream: I am a young woman. A boyfriend takes me to visit his family home, which is near the sea. The homes in his town look a little down in the mouth, with laundry hung in very small front yards no bigger than their driveways. Piles of debris await collection. I am not impressed.

Later I realize that the people here treat their very shallow fronts as backs; they are not concerned about how they look or the social and community face they present. They care about the private back gardens—not visible from the street—where they spend their time. These are large and green and face the sea.

Interpretation: This dream puts everything on its head, turns expectations upside down. What would normally be private (the laundry) is hung out for all to see. The dirty linens are washed in public. Trash is left out in piles. I am not “keeping up a front,” and my dream ego disapproves.

 As the dream progresses, I learn that this is not a bad thing, even if it flies in the face of social expectations. The front, after all, is shallow. The real life of the family (my inner life) takes places facing the sea (the unconscious). In that place the garden prospers.

Putting My Skills to Work (Or Not)

The Dream: I have attained a level of artistic competence, and it occurs to me that I should use it to get a job I would enjoy. I think I would like to be a fashion illustrator, and I become excited about following through on this idea. I am in New York. My first thought is to show my portfolio around, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Who should I show it to? Will anyone look at it if I don’t present some credentials or have a degree? Or connections?

I decide to go back to school at FIT for an illustration degree. Then I wonder who’s hiring fashion illustrators. I realize I haven’t seen many lately. I become discouraged; even if I have the degree it is unlikely there will be jobs available.

Interpretation: While I'm confident in my art skills some part of me thinks I must have validation from the outside world: I need credentials. Then I realize that having them won't solve my dilemma:  It’s difficult to find a practical application for art skills. Yet I think I must.

The Box Turtle

The Dream: I see a turtle emerging from the snake hole of the previous post. First I see its head and I’m alarmed, intrigued. Then its body emerges, which is inside a box. It shuffles itself and its box across the ground. Something about it is off-putting.

Interpretation: I think my unconscious has lost patience with me: “If you want to stay in your box, go ahead! But you look ridiculous!” Change and growth are never easy . . . . 

Snakeskin

The Dream: A dream image of a snake hole, with the reptile’s shed skin emerging. I prod the skin, half afraid it’s an actual snake but realizing as I do that it isn’t.

Interpretation: Because snakes shed their skins and appear to emerge from the earth, our ancestors--close observers of nature--deduced that these animals were reborn, and they became a symbol of regeneration. The removed, cast-off skin tells me that this dream comments on the last dream post. Ready or not, I’ve entered a new phase of life.