I'm Stalled

The Dream: Mother and I are in an area of Manhattan that we don't know. We need a toilet, find one, and go in. As I use one of the stalls I realize the one next to me is a shower. I think it's nice, and progressive, that the city provides a place where the indigent can bathe. A woman takes advantage of this, and soon I'm getting sprayed with water coming over the stall divider. This is not pleasant, but I'm temporarily stuck where I am.

When I finish using the toilet I leave the stall in search of my mother. I don't see her, and I wander in circles yelling, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”

Interpretation: I'm stuck (in a stall) as I try to release some pent up emotion (relieve myself: go to the toilet). The water that splashes me represents unconscious material coming into consciousness, and while it isn't pleasant, I must endure it. The dream emphasizes the importance of this process by pointing out that the shower is for the indigent (someone in need). The little child within me cries for her mother as I get in touch with the well of grief I feel over her death.

A New Blend

The Dream: I am in a Goodwill thrift shop. I see one of mother's tablecloths. In waking life it's a springtime floral, but in the dream I see it as a Xmas pattern. I am excited to buy it. Clark says, “You gave it to Goodwill and now you're buying it back.” I buy the tablecloth as well as a blender with another motif that I think has a Christmas theme, although in waking life it's my nonseasonal china pattern, Castle Garden. I'm very happy about these purchases and excited for Christmas to come so I can use them, aware that I haven't felt this way for years. I'm so pleased with these things that I put them out when I get home, and someone points out that it's spring (or summer), and I have a long time to wait. Nevertheless, I think that once the drudgery of Thanksgiving is over I'll put out these Christmas items and prepare for the season. I look forward to this with happy anticipation.

Interpretation: In this dream I get close to resolving my inner ambivalence toward my mother. Christmas represents a new spiritual birth, and this particular birth blends together (the decorated blender) the things my mother gave me (the floral tablecloth) with my current life (my china pattern: something beautiful but fragile). I embrace this gift of goodwill that I had previously rejected (given away). There's still some drudgery to get through (the feelings of obligation symbolized by Thanksgiving: I must, everlastingly, thank her), but I can look forward to resolving these feelings as time goes on (with the change of the season).

Glitch-22

Everything we see, read, or think about influences our dreams, sometimes uncovering reactions we weren't aware of.
The Dream: We have ordered food from a “deli” that is supposed to be very good and that we think will impress our visitors from NYC. When we go to pick up the food it's in hat boxes. I find this confusing, and I feel uneasy about what we might be getting. I am also concerned that my NY friends will not approve.

Interpretation: This dream was inspired by a book that I'm reading, Christopher Hitchen's memoir, Hitch-22. Reading about someone at the center of every intellectual and political movement of the last 50 years left me feeling marginalized. He and the people he hangs with represent a world I have no entry to, and I feel diminished. In the dream this exclusive elite is represented by a NY deli. What is the food this fancy deli is giving me? It's presented very elegantly in hat boxes, but I really don't know what's inside or what I've bought. And those I'd like to impress don't approve.

A New Passion

The Dream: John, we discover when we visit, has a new girlfriend. They stand above us as if on a higher level. John is beaming, a wide smile on his face. I've never seen him so happy. He doesn't look like himself, but rather like a young boy.

Interpretation: In waking life John is a failed old man. His wife is about to divorce him. He has no discernible purpose in life and has alienated most people. In the dream his salvation comes from a new love. And, since he and his girlfriend are looking down on us, this new love is on a higher level.

It's always tempting, when recounting a dream, to think the dream is about the person dreamt about. But experience has taught me that the characters in my dreams represent parts of myself, usually parts that I'm out of touch with. The dream is telling me that the old embittered John part of myself can be saved by a new “passion” in life, perhaps a spiritual passion (something on a higher level). Once I find it, I'll be energized and rejuvenated.

Something Grates

The Dream: We have a guest cottage on the property. Three standing grates have been installed to keep people from inadvertently falling into holes. We have some visitors staying in the cottage, and when we drop in to visit we notice they've replaced these decorative black wrought-iron grates with larger ones made of an unattractive gray plastic. This seems presumptuous on another's property and, besides that, I'm not sure they are properly installed.

Interpretation: The standing grates represent three issues, of long standing, that I find irritating (grating), but that I have avoided with a cover up rather than a fix. The guests (something from the outside; for example, distractions) try to fix this by putting covers over the the pits I could fall into. They want to keep me safe, but in the end the dream teaches me that my salvation won't come from the outside: the new “protectors” are unattractive, gray (ambiguous), and not properly installed. When I react to the guests' efforts as being “presumptuous” I acknowledge that this is not the solution. I must take a good look at the holes, figure out what caused them, and fix them properly rather than cover them up.

Bald as an Egg

The Dream: I'm attracted to a small, unappealing, no longer young little man. His head is egg-shaped, and he's as bald as an egg. We are close to having sex when I remember that I'm a married woman.

“I've never cheated on my husband,” I say. But at the moment I say it, I'm planning to. Suddenly the mood changes; it's as if this practical consideration has awakened others, and I no longer want to go through with it. He also seems to have lost interest. In fact, he might have lost interest before I did.

Interpretation: In my youth an egg-head was anyone who appeared intelligent. In the dream I'm attracted to the intellect passionately, but it doesn't seem practical, partially due to my age (like the little man, I'm no longer young) and partially due to the fact that intellectual pursuits are innately impractical. In any case, the dream tells me that I see them as inappropriate. By cheating on my husband (animus) I ignore, or attempt to ignore, the practical contingencies of life, but soon discover I'm not really interested in following this path. With this fizzling of passion, the dream points out that I need to ask myself just what it is that I'm "married" to, and whether or not it's time for a new interest.

Experimenting on Myself

The Dream: A woman inside a test tube or beaker.

Interpretation: I'm feeling bottled up, but—at the same time—I'm becoming experimental, ready to try new things.